Maybe It Is Just Me?

Many folks are already talking about gun control laws after the horror of Sandy Hook Elementary.  In China, there was an attempted mass killing with someone using a knife.  It doesn't matter the method of weaponry.  We need to address the issues of mental health in this country.  Mental illness shows up in many forms from anxiety, depression, and other forms of mental illness.

I have read so many stories since Friday concerning the shooting.  One of the most horrifying commentary is the question, "Where was your God during this shooting?"   He was with the mother of Adam Lanza as she was sleeping.  He was with the principal, Dawn Hochsprung,as she fought him over his decision.  He was with the school psychologist, Mary Scherlach,as she argued with him about his decision. He helped the teachers keep children calm with prayers and happy thoughts.   He was with both of the teachers as they begged him to change his mind.  He was holding the children asking them to come home.  He was there kneeling with the victims as they passed.  He was holding each and everyone of them.  So yes my God was there. 

On the day of the shooting,before, and afterwards, there were several reports of other shootings such as Bartlesville OK, Cedar Lake,Indiana, San Antonio, Portland Oregon, and countless more.  Some of the extremists are blaming single mothers.

I was in the U.S. Army.  I have shot the military equivalent of an AR 15.  I have shot a nine mil.  I have shot various shotguns. So Nancy Lanza was a gun enthusiast.  I can understand it.  She lived in a remote area alone with her son.  I understand the need for a gun.  I lived in a very rural area where we had wild life that would attack and kill beloved pets and horses.  We also had to protect livestock.  It was a requirement for us.  There is no ifs ands or buts about the situation.  I understand.  As a Christian, I am willing to give her this leeway.  Despite the horrible report blaming single mothers, the divorce of the parents was not acrimonious.  In fact, the father went out of his way to provide a loving safe environment for his ex-wife and sons. Blaming absent fathers is another mistake.   Current child support laws and enforcement of visitation is to blame for that.  In fact the lack of enforcement of visitation hurts children more.  Having been in that situation, I know personally.

More guns are not the answer.  I believe that the assault weapons should be banned along with large magazine capacity.  There is no need to have such a powerful weapon in the hands of citizens.  It is not a good hunting weapon as it destroys the meat to a point where no one can eat it including wild life.  Keep your rifles and hand guns locked up.  Background checks on people purchasing weapons including at gun shows.  People who are purchasing these weapons should be required gun safety classes plus providing locked gun cabinets and gun locks at a lower cost at the end of the class.

The absence of God is off base radically. God was there as he motivated the teachers to protect children.  God was holding those children as they slipped into heaven's realm.  I can't help but wonder when Adam turned the gun on himself did he realize the horror he caused.   I wonder what exactly he was feeling when he turned the gun on his mother and himself.  I wonder why he used his brother's identification.  He had quite a bit of ammo as well

 Please do not blame Asperger's either.  They are not weird.  They are loving children.  I have two members of my family that have this disorder.  They are not violent but in fact, super intelligent beings.  I do agree that mental health illness as a whole needs to be addressed in this country.  We need to provide resources for families so that they don't face this kind of horror.  If anything we need to figure out why Autism exists. 

Truthfully we have no one to blame but ourselves in this situation.  Sandy Hook could have happened any where or any place.  We need to look at everything that played a role in this mess.  We can't blame just guns, video games, autism, and mental health issues.  We can't point the fingers at his parents.  We have to look at society as well.  What can we do to change? 

Govenor Perry Hates Texans

Governor Perry hates Texans especially if they are impoverished, people of color, female and children.   Rick Perry came out today saying that he and the Republican State Senate and House of Representatives are going to spend every single legislative day (total of 140 days) ending abortion in the great state of Texas. 

When is this idiot of a Governor going to be voted out of office?  Many ranch owners, farmers and other land owners should be the first ones to vote him out of office.  Why?  He cut 75% of funding for Texas volunteer fire departments during the worst fire season in the history of Texas.  He actually wanted the federal government to pay for the fire disasters according to many news reports.  He has failed land
owners and home owners all across Texas.  Human lives, pets, livestock and wild life was destroyed.  A beautiful part of Central Texas was destroyed while Governor Rick Perry was out politicking at Texans' expense no less for his failed presidential bid.  He spent more time worrying about politics than he did his own burning state.

Lets talk about education in the state of Texas.  We have the STAAR tests where fifty percent of students failed one or more portions of the test.  The state of Texas also slashed education by 5.4 billion dollars.  Students no longer have books to study from.  Many folks claim that with books on the internet, there is no need for textbooks in the public school systems.   When you go to college, you have to buy textbooks and read them.  High school students do not learn how to research a book for a research paper.  There are fewer buses to run to keep children protected.  Katy ISD has had several stranger danger alerts since school has began.  So many schools are teaching the tests instead of teaching concepts in order for their students to understand the tests.  I don't mind as a parent helping my daughters understand concepts but what about parents who both have to work and don't have time to help their kids understand these concepts?

What about healthcare?  I am a disabled veteran.  I can't afford healthcare on my own because I can't get the Veterans Affairs Administration to expedite my compensation claim.  My ex husband is having a hard time with finding good quality work that will give him benefits.  Many times employers provide insurance at a HUGE cost to its employees.  Our governor is refusing to even give a health exchange a chance to work.  Our governor is refusing to accept additional medicaid funds to help poor folks like me for myself and my children.  I am not the only one.  If I didn't have the VA medical system (It is an issue all its own and worthy of its own blog post several times over), I would have nothing.  In fact, more than likely my daughters would have lost both of their parents.   Governor Rick Perry is not about parents, children, or families. He isn't about the human condition.  He is not about humanity.  He is not about a living wage in which families can support their children.  He is not about decent healthcare or education.  He is about selling the soul of Texas to the highest bidder. 

Instead of facing serious economic issues, health care, jobs, education, and public safety, he and the legislative branch of Texas wants to fight abortion every single day of its 140 legislative session.  Wow!  I never realized that women were such a threat to the state of Texas. How can these folks even call themselves Christians?  They are against everything our Lord Jesus Christ stood for.  Hypocrisy never ceases to amaze me in the state of Texas. 

Love A Veteran? Sign Your Name to this Petition!

I have mentioned that I classify myself in different ways.  My life is affected by three different groups women's issues, adoptee issues, and veteran issues.  For a long time, I was just an adult adoptee.  Now that I am facing health issues resulting from my time in the U.S. Army, I am also a veteran, specifically a Desert Storm/Gulf War veteran.  My ex husband is one as well.  Now that my cousin is facing the same kinds of health issues, I realize that I can no longer stay silent or wait for the Veterans Affairs Administration to stand up and do the right thing.  It is a government entity that cares only for its own well being.  It is usually screw the vets attitude that hurts veterans country wide.  I can't stay silent because this affects not just my family and I but it also affects thousands of fellow Gulf War vets but new veterans from two ongoing conflicts. 

I filed a claim soon after leaving the service in 1996.  I was denied coverage  and compensation of any kind.  At that time, I claimed my left arm and nerve damage, female health issues, and cystic acne.  I was denied less than ten percent at the time.  I let it go.  The closest VA clinic/hospital at the time was in San Antonio.  We were too broke at the time to do anything. 

Fast forward twenty one years later, my health issues have advanced to critical stages.  My cystic acne is all over my body.  Every time a bump appears, it tunnels to another bump close by.  I no longer have my uterus and one of my ovaries, and my left arm has gotten so bad that I have no feeling in three of fingers and the lower half of it.  I have had six surgeries in the last six years.  I can not get the VA to tackle all of my health issues.  I have been called Mr. Burt more times than I can shake a stick at.  I have five dogs.  I have shaken a stick quite a few times.  I have had my pain levels ignored especially after surgery.  I have requested appointments only to be ignored.  I have PTSD with secondary bruxism.  I have nerve damage to the left side of my body.  My blood pressure is so low that I am now wondering if I have autonomic health issues.  My cystic acne has expanded to the groin, armpits, stomach, inside of my legs and my buttocks.  It is consistently ignored or passed the buck on.  The Micheal E. Debakey VA Medical Center has ignored my complaints and said that they were my fault. 

I am asking all that love me, respect me, and even hate me to please sign this petition.  Gulf War veterans deserve a treatment course other than treatment of symptoms.  I don't want to develop an addiction to narcotics.  I want to sleep through the night and wake refreshed.  I want to be active along side of the people that I love.  I want to live not survive.  It is what every Gulf War veteran wants.  We want our quality of life.  We gave our lives for our country.  We want our country to help us do so.

Gaming and Misogyny

I gotta love Facebook  My friends come up with some seriously good articles.  I have also liked pages like the Huffington Post, AlterNet, and now Upworthy.   These pages bring forth some seriously tough topics.  Sometimes they sugar coat the topic such as adoption, adoptees, and issues surrounding their families.  Being an adult adoptee, it is a subject that I feel needs massive reform starting with opening birth certificates to adoptees and their families.  There are, however, deeper issues that result from this topic.  It may be semantics to the pro life movement.  Women do have a choice when it comes to their bodies.  There is no single person who is pro death or pro abortion.  I personally believe that both adoption and abortion are tools used to diminish women and their God given role as life giver.  I am not one to fight against the rights and responsibilities of women and their choices.  These decisions are made by women every day according to their circumstances. I may not agree with their choices but I back them with my very life.  I am also a Gulf War/Desert Storm veteran. 

Sometimes I think that we have moved forward in regards to domestic violence and womens' issues.  I sadly come across this Upworthy Video about female characters in video games.  Anita Sarkeesian wanted to change those characters so that women in general would not be so sexualized.  Considering my children play video games, I would like female characters to be normal women, instead of hypersexed visuals for the male fantasy. I don't know a single female veteran who is a hypersexed woman.  This is not what war is like.  Women don't go around in a war time situation with their boobs busting out carrying a M-16.  It just doesn't happen.  BDUs are not sexy clothing for men or women.  You can check out Anita's video blogs yourself

The Huffington Post wrote about her and her project.  You can also follow the links as well.  I find it interesting that when men disagree with a woman's issue, men say that she needs to get laid or worse.  It really is shocking.  Would you say this stuff if she were your sister, your mother, your daughter or your wife?  I believe that men and women are different.  God did not intend for women to be treated so badly.  That is on man and man alone.  Men through out time have perverted the meaning of submission.  A woman needs to feel safe.  She needs to be able to trust.  This video games do NOT encourage that.  Why should I as a woman trust a man who plays these kinds of video games with who I am as a woman?  That is what this comes down to. 

Commentary on Kansas Anti-abortion SB 313

Although I am anti-abortion and anti-adoption, I will not come out to actively fight against either one of them.  They serve a purpose.  I believe that abortion decision should be left between a woman, her doctor, and God.  I refuse to judge women and men involved in the nightmare of making this kind of decision.  Just like I refuse to come out against homosexuality.  Why?  I am not God.  I am not here to judge.  I believe that my sins are just as bad as homosexuality and abortion.  None of these sins are worse than the other in the eyes of God.  They are all equal in his eyes. 

After reading the Kansas anti abortion bill SB 313, it was a long bill and often very vague.  There are many concerns that I have with this bill.  It removes the Hippocratic Oath of doctors.  In recent years, conscientious objection laws in regard to abortion have been enacted and passed.  Sadly these laws are being used in other situations other than abortion.  This is my concern with SB 313. 

My sister had a situation where it could have killed her youngest daughter, Super Character Girl.  She went to the hospital in labor.  The nurse tried to send her home.  My sister knew something was wrong.  She said no.  The nurse told her to go home.  She then requested her doctor and pediatrician who specializes with her situation.  The doctor and the pediatrician both agreed that Super Character Girl needed to come out.  The nurse objected to giving care for God knows what reasons.  If they hadn't done the procedure, Super Character Girl would have never been born alive.  These types of laws along with SB 313 give too much influence that allow medical malpractice to occur.    They allow bad doctors to continue practicing bad medicine without  any ramifications.  You have issues such as preclampsia which affect a woman's health.  I have known many a woman who had this disease process that made a woman mentally and physically ill.  Sometimes it is misdiagnosed.  I knew a woman who lost her life as a result.  This situation occurred in the Army overseas in Germany.

Some serious points of concern with this type of bill:

• It creates a personhood law which outlaws in vitro fertilization and birth control pills.  Birth control pills are often used to other female health issues.
• No one that performs abortion can provide counseling to a woman.  They can't even provide sexual education in schools or other state agencies.  No federal and state monies can be given to abortion providers who provide other health care services.  A religious official is authorized to be one of those counseling the pregnant woman even if they have no degree in counseling.  (Read a total and complete ban on Planned Parenthood)
• No state employee can perform an abortion during work hours. 
• Both the father and the parents of a pregnant woman can sue a doctor for performing an abortion when they were not informed of the decision.  (Read Planned Parenthood again).
• The woman, her abortion provider, and her employer who has an abortion rider on an insurance policy will all be taxed.  No tax credit will be provided for any of these. 
• The bill repeatedly states that there is no right to an abortion.  
• A woman can not have an abortion based on the sex of the fetus.  
• If any part of this law is found unconstitutional, the remainder of the law will stand.
• If the fetus is viable, it requires two doctors not associated with each other to sign off on this.  
• The only restriction for a viable fetus to be aborted is if the woman has a physical issue that would endanger her life.  There are no restrictions in regards to rape/incest or the mental health of the mother.  So if the preclampsia is missed, she will be forced to carry her child even if it results in the mother's death.  The doctor can not be sued for medical malpractice.  
• All abortions must be certified.  
• If a doctor withholds information regarding the fetus that might lead to abortion, he can't be sued unless it results in the woman's death.  That is only for wrongful death.  This situation leads to other issues that also related to the conscientious objection laws.  A woman could be bleeding out and she would  not be provided with care to protect her life if it leads to an abortion. 
• The bill includes extensive information regarding the week by week development of the fetus.
• If a woman decides to place a child and the father decides to parent, he must have provided for the pregnant woman during the last six months of her pregnancy.  So this bill even messes with a father's right to parent.  The law also pushes child support heavily on fathers along with adoption. So if a man didn't father this child, he could be subject to child support without proving he is the biological father.  
• The pregnant women is required to be told about breast cancer risks and loss of future children.  These studies have been disproved time and time again.  Just as there are mental health risks for abortion, adoption risks are not mentioned ever.  That mothers long for their children over the years.  

The medical profession is deprived of its responsibilities toward women.  Women are treated as incompetent and ignorant in regards to decisions on their own bodies.  Yet these legislators think that there is no war on women.  YEA RIGHT!

Inside the Adoptee Blogsphere

Two situations are making the rounds on various blogs.  Both are enough to drive me insane because they diminish both the adoptee and the mother. 

Recently the JCICS presented a conference on adoption issues.  Fellow adoptee bloggers, Land of Gazillion Adoptees, attended this conference.  One of the worse offenders was Nancy Fox.  She grabbed the adoptee blogger by the chin and proceeded to preach to him about the new Korean adoption legislation affecting her supply of children from that country.  She says it will be to the detriment of children.  I can not say with any confidence that if she grabbed my chin like that I wouldn't respond with a fist in her face.  That is simple assault plan and simple. 

Of course Ms Fox is an owner/CEO of an adoption agency, AIAA.  Her agency placed Jennifer Haynes with an pedophile.  Her adopters and the agency did not complete her paperwork.  She was deported back to India as a result.  Ironically Ms. Fox blames all adopters for not following through with paperwork for their child.  Interestingly, this woman is on the board of the JCICS which makes one wonder about this organization and the level of corruption.

The second situation is Dan Rather's report, Abducted or Adopted.  I was not able to watch it since it is not part of my cable package.  From what I have read of reviews, he did touch the tip of the iceberg of what happened during the Baby Scoop Era.  Of course there was a reunion on the show.  Why is it that our media can't present a news article on adoption without a reunion?  Why can't we present an article based on the facts of adoption and what it has done to adoptees and their families?  Why does it always have to have a positive spin on it?  The negatives in adoption need to come forth.  The rest of society needs to see what it is like for an adoptee and his/her family in this country to search.  The rest of society needs to realize this.

The sick part of the reports are the claims that adoption is still good and those practices don't happen any more.  Yea right!  The report did not encompass all of the agencies that still to this day force men and women to relinquish their children.  The LDS Adoption Agencies are one such example.

Catholic Charities gave this letter of rebuttal.  They don't want to lose their product and their producers. How do you know that these natural mothers would not have loved their children if given the appropriate support and resources to succeed in their parenting.

“We must not lose track of the tens of thousands of adoptive parents who will be forever grateful to birth parents for the sacrifices they make to ensure that their children’s lives will be filled with the love and opportunity they may otherwise not have received.”

The Crittendon Homes are now blaming individual maternity homes instead of taking responsibility of the actions done in their names.

TNCF and the Crittenton agencies that are still in operation today are aware of, saddened by, and regret the experience of mothers “forced or coerced” into placing their children in adoptive homes and the impact on their children many of whom continue to search for their birth parents. These practices were not required, supported or endorsed by any National Crittenton directive and as independent agencies or homeseach had the ability to determine its own priorities and operating policies.

The Salvation Army's rebuttal blames the mother's families.  Yes they do play a role but the Salvation Army enforced these coercive adoptions.

These homes were operational during a time when significant social pressures were placed upon pregnant, unmarried girls, and a majority of the young girls came to the homes after being guided by their own families.

Even the National Association of Social Workers commented too.  All of these groups are protecting themselves and blaming everyone else but themselves.  It bugs me that no one wants to take responsibility of these coercive and forceful tactics.  All of these organizations state that this doesn't happen.  One just has to read the NCFA website to see that yes it still does.  This organization states in order for a woman to be redeemed that she must relinquish her child.  They in turn back stab her when she wants to parent.  They call her a slut, whore and other nasty words in order to get her to disappear.  The agencies involved are often relentless in their pursuit of the "product."  

This is why I hate even venturing into adoption reform again.  Nothing ever changes. 

Anti-adoption and Anti-abortion

Why am I against both of these hot topics?  I believe both treat adoptees and their families as disposable.  Adoptees are the product in a massively unregulated industry.  Mothers and fathers are the producers.  They are treated worse than livestock.  In the livestock industry, there are those who protect their rights.  No one protects the rights of mothers and fathers.  The adoptive parents pay huge amounts of money without being properly educated on the perils of adoption which affect their adoptees in the long run.

Abortion has many of the same elements.  I don't believe there is near the marketing level of adoption with abortion.  It dehumanizes adoptees.  With the laws being enacted, women are treated as ignorant and incapable of deciding for themselves.

I would not actively fight against both of these situations.  There are very human situations that laws can't even begin to imagine.  We are changing laws that are life altering and damaging to women.  Women are losing their reproductive organs and their health in the process.

We forget the humanity in these situations.  There is no compassion for any of these men and women.  I have been to Groom, Texas.  All of the statutes around the cross are awesome.  It truly portrays Christ's experience.  There is a side statute that is dedicated to the children lost to abortion.  My initial response to it was that the mothers and fathers of those children are forgotten.  For me, it was revolting that they are forgotten.  They are not given compassion, forgiveness, and support.  It is the same for the natural mothers of adoption.  Adoption dehumanizes these women and makes them into producers of product.  It does not redeem them at all. 

On a basic level as a woman, adoption and abortion are two of the most difficult decisions a woman has to make.  Both deny her motherhood.  At least with abortion, a woman knows that her child is with God.  Adoption is often a crap shoot.  The lack of knowledge about her child is very devastating.  I remember one line from an old friend, "If adoption is so great, which child are you willing to relinquish?"  Most people would say none.

These are my views on these subjects as woman and a mother.  

A New Beginning

I was once known as Amyadoptee.   You could find me anywhere on adoption related.  That was four years ago.  A great deal has changed since then but much has stayed the same. 

I am still an adoptee/adoption reform activist.  I am anti adoption and anti abortion.  That is a blog post unto itself.  It will be explained further.  I support the Adoptee Rights Demonstration, Bastard Nation, and The Green Ribbon Campaign.  I support SMAAC, CUB, and Origins (they have groups everywhere).  I also support PEAR.  These groups all believe in the same philosophies as I do.  Again this is coming in a subsequent blog post which will be posted for all to read.

I became unwittingly a non custodial mother. I have two precious daughters. I am divorced and now living with a wonderful man, forever known as Amy's Super Cable Dude, Teen Angel, and Wild Angel.  I am acting stepmom to Amarillo Angel, Heavenly Angel, and Military Dude.  I am acting step grandmother to three other precious angels.  This situation is also a blog post unto itself.  Amy's Ex, the Not So Super Cowboy (He is a good cowboy but more along the lines of not a great husband to me) is now married to someone else.  She has two daughters along with two grandchildren.

I am now a veteran at the mercy of the Micheal E. Debakey Veterans Affairs Hospital.  I suffer from a little known disease called Hidradenitis Suppurativa that resulted from drugs forcibly (AKA following a lawful order) administer during my time in the United States Army during Operation Desert Shield/Desert Storm. 

I am still a woman who has serious issues with the War on Women.  I am a member of the Texas War on Women group.

I am member of the Christian Left.  I would rather my tax dollars go to a Welfare Queen instead of a Welfare corporation. 

I love cats, dogs, and horses in general.  I have my favorites.  

I have been many things such as a letter carrier and a cable installer.  I am also a Jill of all trades.  I am now a college student, studying nursing.  

Be patient with me as I develop this new blog.  It will provide useful links to all of these subjects.  It will also include a list of favorite books, movies, and music.