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Thursday, March 20, 2014

I Miss You Jeni So Much

Today is a very sad day for me.  I spent my morning crying over my loss when I know so many others feel the same as I do.  We are selfishly mourning when she is sitting at the feet of Jesus.   A beautiful soul was called to home.   Like so many others, this world is now colder and harsher without her gorgeous face to brighten it.   During my darkest hour, she was a true friend.  During my divorce, so many people were running from me and Jeni came running to me.  She wanted to take a baseball bat to my ex-husband for all the hell that he put me through.  She even got revenge for me.  I laugh about it now but she was the friend who would get arrested with you.  She was the friend who helped plot to get even with those who hurt her friends.  I never told her how much I loved her.  I never told her that when she went after my ex that she made me feel better and made me feel loved. 

I will always remember her Sunday morning message that "Thou Shall Not Text in Church."  She was a voice for so many people.  The adoption reform movement adored her.  People with disabilities loved her strong voice.  The Gay Rights Movement even lost a warm loving heart and voice with her with her passing.  The homeless and animal shelters lost a valuable volunteer.

I met her years ago now online.  She was a crazy mess just like every adoptee who decides to search.  She was also very wounded at the rejection by her birth mother.  Every post and comment as time progressed became calmer, loving, compassionate and so kind.   She was humble, funny, outrageous and so larger than life. 

So many people pass judgment on people like her and subsequently me.  What they don't know is that she not only talked the talk but she WALKED it.  She was always the first person to help someone in need.  She was always offering suggestions to help a homeless animal or human being.  She is the main reason why I will give money to someone begging on the streets.  She is the reason why I enjoy Caring for Katy so much. She motivated people to help others. She wasn't afraid to get down and dirty to help those in need.

Like me, her birth mother denied contact.  She was a soul sister who I did have to explain or apologize for my angry and painful feelings about my birth parents.  She got it.  She stepped up and fought for adoptees around the world.  She could have been like so many others who just gave up ( I am an example of that).  She pushed forward with love, grace, and beauty. 

Although it is God's gain, it is a horrible loss for those of us left behind without her. She doesn't have to sit at God's feet but dance with peaceful joy. 

I miss you and I love you. 

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